Life in H(igh) D(efinition) I

Guys! We're back. Finally. First I have to say I'm flattered (Paula is, too, btw) because... There are people waiting for us to post something new, fans and friends and everything! You guys rock! We're thinking about making some merchandise! Would anyone be interested in buttons with our mascots on them? We'll also have hoodies (for ourselves). So if you see us walking around with them guys on our backs – talk to us!

Anyway. Do you know the phenomenon that once you start studying at university you seem to be out more than ever? I mean, during the last three years my partying habits were relatively tame a kind but now? I seem to be on every fucking party out there and I love it. The most useful vocabulary I learned this semester is 二日酔い　（ふつかよい）which means “hangover”, even though, it's usually Paula who's hangover since I'm usually still pretty much drunk the next morning ^^ hehe... fail. And every morning after, we say “We really should party less and study more” … and off we go to the next party. I mean, why only going out on weekends if you can go during the week, too?! I say: Who wants to be lazy has to be brilliant. Let's see if I am. Brilliant that is ^^ I do have my doubts, though. But I'm pretty sure I'll be able to say “what an awesome life” someday. (I actually already say that all the time, I like being me :-P )

Soooo... what to write today? I'm kind of... unmotivated ^^ It's 3:30 pm and I'm still lying in Paula's bed, happy-raping her plushies, especially The Bear and I have established an heartfelt relationship and I can proudly say I'm on top. ^^ Though, we will write our 作文 (essay) today, which means, @all you lazy Japanology-Nerds: GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

It's about why we are studying Japanese... Yay! It's so my kind of topic (no irony here) because I'm awesome when it comes to talking my ass away about a topic I know nothing of!

Whatever.

We thought, it'd be great if we posted something about our daily life this time. I guess we really can say “our life” because when I met with some people on Friday and didn't bring Paula they were kind of shocked... fail... XD... so just for you guys out there: Paula and I met about four weeks ago, and have been kind of attached at the hip since then, although, that's just thanks to me – I have awesome people skills and am sooo likeable and nice and an all-over fun person – you just have to love me! :D Whoops, don't tell Paula I wrote this, she'll hit me or something!

So talked forever, told nothing: here comes Life in H(igh)D(efinition) I

First I have to say, I love it when guys lie at my feet. It's a caress to my ego and makes my inner self squeal in utter glee. And the other thing is, I like guys, I could hold an five-hours-monologue about why I think guy's are awesome. (Boys, this is your cue, bring me beer and a steak!)

However, as nice as having guys lying at your feet is, I was really said about this one doing so. One day I sit next to him, reading Voltaire, eating Hachez and all-over laughing my ass off about Voltaire's sense of humor, and the next day he's just lying there. I was crestfallen.

Who does whit like that?! He was my friend, man! And the most stable one I could find! And yet it was one of the shortest friendships I ever had! So not fair!

Apropos friendships – do you guys know this “Oh, he's such a dog-person or she's such a cat person?” Contrariwise to common assumption I'm not a dog person but a cat person :-P I'm a fucking mystery! Oh, well, today I'm a Panda Person, when I looked into the mirror this morning... errr... late afternoon... all I saw was a Panda looking kind of... run over. The bags under my eyes are that bad... any tips and tricks? (Except for partying less, I know about that one). Oh, just in case you're wondering, Paula's a dog person – she forced me to mention it, she keeps dissing my non-existent number one pet, the cat.

HD isn't the place to be as dog, though, it seems. The dogs I see all look kind of like I feel today:

Are those really dogs? They look like the kind of pillow you throw out after a home party because you don't know why it's so wet and weird smelling...

Btw, the poor quality of the pictures is thanks to my fucked up cell phone camera ^^ bear with it, you'll see them a lot.

Anyway. Germany is all about Green Energy and Alternate Energy Sources and Organic Food and all that jazz. But it's also the country with the fastest cars on the highway, no speed limits, the most different kinds of beer and all that. I really appreciate that, save the planet, I'm game. I buy organic food sometimes, I try to eat the tuna that got the dolphin-friendly-sign on it. Where I do abandon all my good intentions is on the road. I'm a true German when I'm in a car. I drive a constant 20km/h-above the speed limit or, if there is none, at a constant 170km/h. I tailgate heavily, I curse in a way that makes a sailor blush and I love every second of it. That's why I can't help but laugh about things like this:

I mean, it's a great idea, he's doing way better at saving the planet than I am... still WTF?

Another thing I love about Germany is that it's a deep and mysterious forest made of signs. There are so many signs everywhere! And the way they're positioned shows if one of the signs shows an exception to the rule of the other or an addition or an in-case-of-situation... and so on. It's the confusion of a whole nation made visible. Like this one!

The white sign says 'to the customer parking lot' and the yellow one says 'trespassing of property prohibited – parents answer for their children'

…

And what exactly am I supposed to do here? Germany failed once again. Customers! I hope you know how to park your car without driving it! Best, just throw it!

Or this thing!

'Brand Condoms – 4 pieces 5,- DM'

DM! Man, DM! DM is the abbreviation of Deutsche Mark which used to be the currency here... before the EURO. Before 2001! They do know that condoms expire, too, don't they? Urgh, just urgh. Oh, wait, did they even know about latex back then? Someone have 5,-DM for me to try it?

Anyway... I'll stop for now – so you can get another update soon ^^

Remember to tell us if you'd be interested in buttons with Paula and Yôshi on them!

I'll go and take a (highly needed) shower, I probably smell just as the Panda I look like today. And I really should get out of these pyjamas soon...

Until we meet again ~

Paula + Yôshi


p.s. I did leave out the FAIL OF THE WEEK. On purpose. But right about now I figured, I'd confess of our stupidity. You guys all read this blog... But apparently we have gotten us a pretty prominent reader... ^^ There we were, innocently sitting through one of those...err... interesting history tutorials and thought it'd be a great idea to do some promotion for our blog. Well, we were incredibly successful on that one. The next day Paula found the sheet with the web address and all on the table where all the brochures and fliers about Japan and Japan-related stuff for students, post-graduates and other interested people lies. She thought I had put it there... Well, I didn't.

One of the other freshmen told us our dear Japanese professor had showed around said sheet earlier that day during the first year's Japanese Lesson... and right after put said sheet on said table at the institute... FAIL, MAN, FAIL!!! I'm here writing my brain off about butt-sex-dinosaurs and my professors are reading it ^^

@ProminentReader: Have Fun and tell us what you think! We hope this qualifies us for … […] not.

 

The Background Stories II

Fans! There we go again! Somehow Paula managed to make me write this post again, even though, it's mostly about her this time... ^^ There you go thinking you're pretty cool and independent and everything and then there comes one of those shorties and makes you do the craziest things... and the worst... you love it. That's how it went and why you've got to deal with my poor sense of humor once again. Well, bear with me. ^^

It's time for The Background Stories Part Two:
First you need to know a little about Paula's life. One word description? Interesting ^^ Well, she's been in Japan for a couple of times already and once attended Japanese High School for about a year, meaning she's great at talking nonsense ^^ And, even better, she's already made about every mistake a gaijin can possibly do... HAHA! (I so needed that to polish my scratched up ego a little...)
Anyway. In Japan she stayed with different host families... and one of them had little daughter who once was the epitome of innocence and sweetness... but then came Paula. The poor sweet child was ripped from its cradle, thrown into a world of disaster and even worse - the little girl happened to be quite fond of Paula's attempts to stain her innocence.

...

They say she's gonna be the next Sadako of the Japanese The Ring movies... She definitely got the facial expression right. I mean, how could you, Paula! She was just a young little girl who did nothing wrong in her life! Not once! And now she'll only be able to make a living as a character from a horror movie! And what if that expression stays permanently! I just can believe it!

Apparently not all Japanese people Paula met were typical Japanese... I absolutely adore the story about "her" grandma who took her to a festival at a Sakura park and there was a hill small children slid down on paper and plastic bags. And being a proud and fine Japanese woman the grandma gave her a bag and took one herself and said "We're gonna do that, too!" And down they went... I never met that woman but I love her. She makes me believe in a better world, where a gaijin like me isn't always the freakiest person at hand ^^

Whatever. Last time I had an epic rant about cosplay, right? Paula, being a cosplayer herself by the way, had her moments with those people as well:

I think her face says everything about her thoughts on Japanese people in costumes... Man, don't you look hooked, Sweetie? Well, don't worry, I like (good looking) people without clothes better, too. I mean, uniforms and suits are indeed hot... but nothing goes over a little skin ^^ or a little more ^^

Oh, and while we're at it... Do you guys know Tokyo Tower? Weeeell, of course you do! Everyone knows the Japanese copy of the Eiffel Tower which is actually even taller than the original... fail... But do you guys know what they sell to little children in the stalls and vendors below the tower? Hehe, neither did I...

EPIC FAIL! THEY SELL BUTT-SEX-DINOSAURS TO CHILDREN!!! I almost died when I saw that one! xDDD I can so see the little children asking their mothers "Mommy! Why does the dino put his pee-pee into... " GAHAAAA! Now we know why dinosaurs really went extinct! They were all gay and there were no more baby dinosaurs - I can so see the headline of some Alien-Newspaper: Today's special: Earth - The Gay Dinosaur's Paradise ... how fail can something get?

Anyway...
Another thing about Japan is the Latin transcription of Japanese characters... somehow that's something that tends to go wrong somewhere... this mistake kind of rocks, though ^^

xD Paula's friend took this picture when she was in Okinawa... Obviously they meant not to lock that door but really, this is so much better! In some languages thele in fact is a diffelence between l and l... but leally, using the light lettel is way ovellated.

... Back to being serious, we're not here just for fun after all! This his hard work! And we must give our all!

While we're still at the topic... fail signs aren't only to be found in Japan - you can find them over here, too! And since we're in Germany right now, we decided to show you this one!

"Sackkarre" means "sack barrow" in English... ... ... EPIC FAIL!

...

I don't have anything else to say to this...


Until we meet again,

Paula + Yôshi

The Background Stories I

So... here we go... first post. You know, guys, the first post is something nothing short of evil. It nags you and chews on your nerves - what to post, how to write - after all, this is supposed to be awesome. ^^
But, what the hell, I'll just start at the beginning, or even before the beginning (is that even possible?). Here's The Background Stories Part One.
First of all, we're Paula Yôshi, or if you use the long version, Prinzessin Paula (German: princess) and Miss Yôshi. They're both quite new nick names but they already grew on us. We met a couple of weeks ago in a smelly old classroom, packed with weird people at the beginning of the semester. So yes, we're both proud students of Heildeberg University (lol) and students at the East Asia Institute. We're majoring in East Asia Studies with a focus on Japan and while Paula's second course is Sociology, mine is Computer Linguistics, which is something similar to Informatics, I'm too lazy too explain the difference now. The point is, we're learning Japanese. Paula has for about 8 years and I for maybe... 3 1/2. We're in the same language course, though, which does make my ego squeal in delight. A little. On the inside. :-P
So for us learning Japanese and getting to know the country, the people and all the other freaks like us is quite funny. I've never been as amused for such a long time before I came here ^^ my eyebrows feel like they're permanently glued to my hairline ^^ ^^ ^^... I'll get wrinkles... someday. But until then: LOL

Japan, Japanese people, wannabe-Japanese people, they make life more fun. They really do. I mean, everyone should have their own Japan-freak, don't you think? You'd always have something to laugh. (no offense to those who fit into that category, we do, too, it's great here)
Especially being in Japan is one of those must-have-done-experiences of a potential Japan-freak. I mean, who doesn't want to be able to stand at the very back of a concert and still see the stage just fine? Of course, lately there have been some taller Japanese popping up from nowhere but most of the are still cute and small and just aww ^^ Never pet them, though, I don't think they like that ^^ then again, I never tried it ^^
Anyway, Japan is great.
I bet everyone has heard about the tricky high tech hygiene facilities, also know as toilet, you find in Japan?

This is the How-to-use-instruction at the wall of a McDonalds toilet in Tokyo.
The first joke: Save water! xD Hadn't laughed so hard in ages! That's like telling the McClerk you want a low carb/low fat menue but you don't like green salad. Anyway, back to McInstruction. "Press to play back flushing sound to muffle toilet sounds (25 seconds)" GAHAAAAA NO COMMENT NEEDED, RIGHT?
The next one "Press to stop spray" Spray? What spray?! I don't want to get sprayed at with whats in my toilet!!! Reading that I actually considered not going. I was so freaked out!
Then the one looking like a nice pair of breasts over a fountain... oh... err.. they're rather ass cheeks, I guess, well, what the fuck, I didn't have such a round bottom when I was a baby! So you get your bottom sprayed with that one? Urgh. Just urgh! Oh and a bidet function. On a puplic toilet at McDs? O.o" Right about now start to believe I should be glad that there aren't any other things coming out of the toilet... Oh you can regulate the water pressure... Do people masturbate in here? By now I was quite sure I wanted to go home...
Ah, nice, you can have some music to that...? And turn the volume up?!

Really, lets change the topic. I mean, toilets! WTF!

Oh, I took a picture of this guy!

Hey, do you guys remember those pajamas you had as a toddler? These things?

Why in his right mind does he wear something like that? And what's the thing on his head? If I had to do that I'd want something where you can't see my face but no... He's proud of his job, obviously! Well, who knows. He wasn't even handing out leaflets or brochures or anything, he just walked around as a giant pink bunny-thing, somewhere in Shibuya. Maybe he's the worst I took a picture of but Japanese love dressing up. And those people are everywhere. 7:30 am, Yamamote Line, the train is packed with people going to work, to school, shopping, whatever. Don't ask why I was on a train at 7:30 in the morning on vacation. I was. Anyway. Wherever you look you see people in uniforms. School uniforms, work uniforms, World War I cavalry uniforms... wait, what?! I couldn't take a picture of him, but what the fuck? Or another time, another train, late at night, hardly anyone's on the train - the guy next to me turns around and looks at me... and hell! He had white fluorescent eyes! I almost screamed! You can't just look at me with glowing eyes! I might get a heart attack! Are they even allowed to sell stuff like that? It should be prohibited, it's a mortal threat!
Or another time, my friend and I were looking for a Starbucks (Yes, booh, we're bad and stupid consume whores, we know about the dangers of Scientology... but it's not so easy to get you fill of daily caffeine in the land of tea. Oh wait, that was China, right? Whatever). Anyway, still looking for a Starbucks.  Now we weren't in the best place to find a Starbucks - many tall office-like buildings, clean surfaces, no people. Oh wait, over there are some. Oh-Hallooo~ nice, I didn't there had been a revival of baroque fashion. Wait - the one in the one in the rather opulent and rather frilly dress is kind of flat-chested, poor girl, I know your problem. Wait - that's no girl...! Ooookay.
I mean, it's cool, like anti-emancipation or something...? I don't have anything against guys wearing dresses... but there? With only office-like buildings around? Maybe I should trust the facade of these buildings... and there's no Starbucks. And how do we get to the station now?
Why, thanks, lovely Japanese people, I, too, think street names and directions in English are totally overrated.

Oh, oh, another funny fact about Japan! They love drastic warnings. Like this here, a sign at a crossing in Sakuradamon.

It means:
"Yesterday's traffic accidents - casualties --0-- Persons"
FAIL! Well, I find it kind of funny, but I sense of humor fits under every floor mat. I think we should have an open discussion! Do you guys think, that kind of sign should be at every crossing or is it too macabre? Too bad there didn't die any people the day before - it would have been more impressive that way... well, I guess, you can't have everything ^^

So, that's it for now, we'll be back soon!

~ Paula + Yôshi