But, what the hell, I'll just start at the beginning, or even before the beginning (is that even possible?). Here's The Background Stories Part One.
First of all, we're Paula Yôshi, or if you use the long version, Prinzessin Paula (German: princess) and Miss Yôshi. They're both quite new nick names but they already grew on us. We met a couple of weeks ago in a smelly old classroom, packed with weird people at the beginning of the semester. So yes, we're both proud students of Heildeberg University (lol) and students at the East Asia Institute. We're majoring in East Asia Studies with a focus on Japan and while Paula's second course is Sociology, mine is Computer Linguistics, which is something similar to Informatics, I'm too lazy too explain the difference now. The point is, we're learning Japanese. Paula has for about 8 years and I for maybe... 3 1/2. We're in the same language course, though, which does make my ego squeal in delight. A little. On the inside. :-P
So for us learning Japanese and getting to know the country, the people and all the other freaks like us is quite funny. I've never been as amused for such a long time before I came here ^^ my eyebrows feel like they're permanently glued to my hairline ^^ ^^ ^^... I'll get wrinkles... someday. But until then: LOL
Japan, Japanese people, wannabe-Japanese people, they make life more fun. They really do. I mean, everyone should have their own Japan-freak, don't you think? You'd always have something to laugh. (no offense to those who fit into that category, we do, too, it's great here)
Especially being in Japan is one of those must-have-done-experiences of a potential Japan-freak. I mean, who doesn't want to be able to stand at the very back of a concert and still see the stage just fine? Of course, lately there have been some taller Japanese popping up from nowhere but most of the are still cute and small and just aww ^^ Never pet them, though, I don't think they like that ^^ then again, I never tried it ^^
Anyway, Japan is great.
I bet everyone has heard about the tricky high tech hygiene facilities, also know as toilet, you find in Japan?
This is the How-to-use-instruction at the wall of a McDonalds toilet in Tokyo.
The first joke: Save water! xD Hadn't laughed so hard in ages! That's like telling the McClerk you want a low carb/low fat menue but you don't like green salad. Anyway, back to McInstruction. "Press to play back flushing sound to muffle toilet sounds (25 seconds)" GAHAAAAA NO COMMENT NEEDED, RIGHT?
The next one "Press to stop spray" Spray? What spray?! I don't want to get sprayed at with whats in my toilet!!! Reading that I actually considered not going. I was so freaked out!
Then the one looking like a nice pair of breasts over a fountain... oh... err.. they're rather ass cheeks, I guess, well, what the fuck, I didn't have such a round bottom when I was a baby! So you get your bottom sprayed with that one? Urgh. Just urgh! Oh and a bidet function. On a puplic toilet at McDs? O.o" Right about now start to believe I should be glad that there aren't any other things coming out of the toilet... Oh you can regulate the water pressure... Do people masturbate in here? By now I was quite sure I wanted to go home...
Ah, nice, you can have some music to that...? And turn the volume up?!
Really, lets change the topic. I mean, toilets! WTF!
Oh, I took a picture of this guy!
Hey, do you guys remember those pajamas you had as a toddler? These things?
Why in his right mind does he wear something like that? And what's the thing on his head? If I had to do that I'd want something where you can't see my face but no... He's proud of his job, obviously! Well, who knows. He wasn't even handing out leaflets or brochures or anything, he just walked around as a giant pink bunny-thing, somewhere in Shibuya. Maybe he's the worst I took a picture of but Japanese love dressing up. And those people are everywhere. 7:30 am, Yamamote Line, the train is packed with people going to work, to school, shopping, whatever. Don't ask why I was on a train at 7:30 in the morning on vacation. I was. Anyway. Wherever you look you see people in uniforms. School uniforms, work uniforms, World War I cavalry uniforms... wait, what?! I couldn't take a picture of him, but what the fuck? Or another time, another train, late at night, hardly anyone's on the train - the guy next to me turns around and looks at me... and hell! He had white fluorescent eyes! I almost screamed! You can't just look at me with glowing eyes! I might get a heart attack! Are they even allowed to sell stuff like that? It should be prohibited, it's a mortal threat!
Or another time, my friend and I were looking for a Starbucks (Yes, booh, we're bad and stupid consume whores, we know about the dangers of Scientology... but it's not so easy to get you fill of daily caffeine in the land of tea. Oh wait, that was China, right? Whatever). Anyway, still looking for a Starbucks. Now we weren't in the best place to find a Starbucks - many tall office-like buildings, clean surfaces, no people. Oh wait, over there are some. Oh-Hallooo~ nice, I didn't there had been a revival of baroque fashion. Wait - the one in the one in the rather opulent and rather frilly dress is kind of flat-chested, poor girl, I know your problem. Wait - that's no girl...! Ooookay.
I mean, it's cool, like anti-emancipation or something...? I don't have anything against guys wearing dresses... but there? With only office-like buildings around? Maybe I should trust the facade of these buildings... and there's no Starbucks. And how do we get to the station now?
Why, thanks, lovely Japanese people, I, too, think street names and directions in English are totally overrated.
Oh, oh, another funny fact about Japan! They love drastic warnings. Like this here, a sign at a crossing in Sakuradamon.
It means:
"Yesterday's traffic accidents - casualties --0-- Persons"
FAIL! Well, I find it kind of funny, but I sense of humor fits under every floor mat. I think we should have an open discussion! Do you guys think, that kind of sign should be at every crossing or is it too macabre? Too bad there didn't die any people the day before - it would have been more impressive that way... well, I guess, you can't have everything ^^
So, that's it for now, we'll be back soon!
~ Paula + Yôshi
Wahaaa...awesome!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the next entry ^____^!!